


Behind Silver Eyes

by crystalesbian



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Aliens, Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, F/F, OT3, Polyamory, Survival, The Host AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-03 05:23:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4088527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalesbian/pseuds/crystalesbian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Earth has been invaded by an alien species who use human bodies as host vessels, wiping out nearly all human life on Earth. Laura Hollis is one of the few remaining humans still living in hiding with a group of fellow survivors. However, when Laura is captured and taken over by an alien soul named Carmilla, she must fight from within to prevent the souls from using her memories to track down the rest of the human resistance, including the woman Laura loves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Host

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for: violence, mentions of death, attempted suicide, unintentional misgendering

_Laura turns a corner down the hallway, not stopping, even as her feet and lungs scream in protest, until she reaches a dead end. In front of her, an empty elevator shaft. She stops and turns. Behind her, a seeker, who stops in her tracks, putting up her hands and approaching Laura like she's approaching a scared animal._

_“Come with us,” the seeker urges. “We don't want to hurt you. You're at a dead end; you can either come with us or die.”_

_Laura looks between the seeker and the elevator shaft. If they take her, they'll put one of those things inside her. A parasite that will use her memories to lead the rest of them to her friends._

_Lead them to Danny._

_She takes one last look at the seeker. “I'd rather die,” she says, before closing her eyes and throwing herself down the elevator shaft._

* * *

 

The first thing she notices is the blinding whiteness as she opens her eyes, light reflecting off every surface in the white room. The floor and wall are covered with white tiles, and the fluorescent lights above give her a harsh awakening much like her last— she absentmindedly wonders if this is the same room she woke up in last time. The second thing she notices is the ache all over her body. That’s new. Whoever owned this body must’ve done quite a lot to prevent it from being captured alive. She groans as she sits up on the examination table. As she does so, she sees a familiar young man standing in the corner. She’s still disoriented, and can hardly place her own name, let alone his, until he grins at her and waves. “Hi, Kitty.”

It takes her a moment but she shakes her head and chuckles in reply, wincing as she does so. “Will. Where’s Mother?”

“Oh, don’t worry, she’ll be here any minute now.”

“No doubt to chastise me for fucking up royally.” She— _Carmilla_ , that’s her name— looks to Will to see his reaction. He’s smirking at her. Good. If he’s cocky, then he believes that what happened was truly that, a fuck up. Hopefully Mother is none the wiser.

“Oh, she was quite disappointed in her little pet. I’ve never seen someone cave that severely  before.”

Carmilla scowls back at him, putting on a facade of offense. “Well, you’ve never encountered a host that strong before. We can’t all be implanted into the minds of infant children. Then who would the hard work go to?”

He stiffens at that, and Carmilla smiles smugly, more than satisfied at having shut him up.

“So,“ she starts, approaching the subject cautiously, “what did they do to my old host.“

“Mother took care of her. She had her deemed unsuitable for soul inhabitation, and her body was discarded.“

 _Discarded._ Carmilla tenses up at the word. In other words, Ell was executed, her body thrown out, like some old dress with a stain that made it unwearable. Carmilla doesn't have the chance to think on that too long before her train of thought is interrupted.

_Let me OUT!_

Carmilla gasps, lurching forward and clutching her head. The pain searing through her has nothing to do with her host’s previous injuries; rather, it feels as if it’s coming from the inside her new mind. Like her new host is still conscious in there, as Ell was, and is crying out.

Will raises his brows at her. “Everything okay?”

“Agh, headache,” she groans, massaging her temples for effect. “The host really did a number on this body, didn’t she?”

“Threw herself down an elevator shaft to avoid capture. Which means she must have something pretty valuable to hide. That’s why mother chose you for this. She suspects there are more empty hosts where this one came from, and thinks you can gain access to this host’s memories to find out where they are.”

Carmilla has to stop herself from snarling at the word “empty”, has to resist the urge to bark, “There are people already inside these bodies, you dimwit!” at Will. She is incredibly thankful that Mother wasn’t waiting by her side for her to wake up, isn’t here now as Carmilla is still gaining control over her emotions in this new body.

“I don’t see why she’d believe you to be up to the task when you were taken down so easily last time. It’s like she wants you to fail.”

“I’m sure she has her reasons. Mother trusts me,” Carmilla says, staring Will down. “She values me as more than just an errand boy.”

“Why, you little—”

“William!” The door to the room flies open, as Mother’s voice interrupts them. “I thought I asked you to send to me as soon as your dear sister had woken up?”

“You did, Mother, I apologize.” Will bows his head, and Carmilla smirks at him. “Carmilla’s only been conscious for a few moments. I was catching her up.”

“Don’t you worry about that. I’ll get her up to speed. I expected better of you than to disobey me, William. Go back to work, dear. Carmilla and I must talk alone.”

“Yes, Mother.” He walks toward the door.

“Momma’s boy,” Carmilla sneers at him on his way out.

As soon as Will closes the door behind him, Mother pulls up a chair and sits down next to her, clasping Carmilla’s hands in hers. “Welcome back, dear.”

“How long was I gone?”

“Just over a year,” Mother answers, and Carmilla’s eyes widen. “Oh, now, don’t look at me like that, darling. Your old host left quite an impression. It took months of debate to convince my superiors that you were even ready for a new assignment, and even then, I wanted to make sure you had the perfect host. We were able to find just the girl. She may be a challenge, but nothing you aren’t able to handle, I’m sure. Have you seen yourself yet?” Carmilla shakes her head. “Oh, of course you haven’t. William really is such an idiot. I’m sorry I couldn’t be here when you woke up.” Mother takes a silver hand mirror resting on the counter and hands it to Carmilla.

Slowly, Carmilla’s fingers wrap around the handle of the mirror, and she raises it to her face. A small gasp escapes her lips as she takes in her features— round face, light brown hair, button nose.

“A perfectly sweet face for my sweet girl,” Mother says, brushing back a strand of Carmilla’s hair behind her ears. “Don’t you think?”

It takes everything in her for Carmilla not to flinch away from her Mother’s touch. “I’m beautiful,” she says. “Thank you.” She’s not lying— she’s undeniably pretty, but this face feels wrong to her. It doesn’t feel anything like her. Pretty as this face is, it’s not her face.

_It’s mine._

Carmilla flinches, and sets the mirror down next to her. “So, what’s so special about this host? Will said that you think she could lead you to other humans.”

Mother nods. “Yes. Remind me to tell William to hold his tongue. I had hoped to Aexplain all of this to you myself. Come with me.”

Carmilla follows Mother out of the white room and down a long hallway until Mother stops at a closed door and unlocks it. Behind the door is a room filled mostly with filing cabinets, save for a desk in the back right corner. Mother walks to a cabinet and unlocks it, pulling out a single folder and setting it on the desk. “Come sit,” she commands, pulling out the chair next to where she’s standing. Carmilla sits down at the desk as Mother opens the folder and begins spreading papers out on the desk. “This,” she says, indicating toward a blown up picture of two people walking side-by-side, both wearing sunglasses, one clearly recognizable as Carmilla’s host, “is footage captured from the security camera at the hotel your host was staying at. As you can see, she was traveling with another woman, who you can see here.” Mother indicates to an image of the hosts traveling partner alone.

 _LaFontaine_ , the other voice in Carmilla’s head immediately identifies the person.

“Unfortunately, she escaped before—”

“They,” Carmilla corrects instinctively, the word shocking her even as it leaves her mouth.

“Pardon?”

“Um,” Carmilla searches her host’s mind for the information, “the host’s travelling partner wasn’t a woman. They identified as genderqueer, using ‘they’ pronouns.”

Mother smiles, cupping Carmilla’s face in her hands.

 _I don’t like her touching me._ Carmilla has to agree with the voice in her head on that one.

“You’re accessing her memories. Good. That’s what this host is for. We believed there were others where these two came from. If you can gain access to her memories, you can lead us to them.”

_Like hell you will!_

Carmilla nods. “I’ll try my best.”

“I know you will, darling girl.” Mother strokes Carmilla’s face with the back of her hand, studying her. “The host will protest some. There may be walls put up. But soon enough, she’ll fall into silence, and her mind will be yours for the taking.” Mother kneels down so that she’s looking up at where Carmilla is sitting in her chair, and brushes her hair back. Even with her mother kneeling, looking up at her, Mother’s gaze still manages to make Carmilla feel impossibly small. “You’re strong, my dear. Don’t think that what happened with the old host changes that.” Her stare pierces through Carmilla, petrifying her with the idea that Mother may know something Carmilla doesn’t want her to know. “You are a strong girl Carmilla. And as long as you obey me, we should have no trouble at all.”

* * *

Mother drives Carmilla home to her new apartment, explaining that they had feared the old one may trigger bad memories. Carmilla doesn’t fight her on it. She gets home and immediately takes a shower, even though the body should already be clean. The hot water helps ground her, helps her adjust to inhabiting this new body. Adjusting to a new body on the same planet has always been much harder for her than adjusting to a different planet, which is partially why she’s moved to so many different planets. Once her time in a body is up, it feels wrong to dispose of it and move on to a new one of the same species. It feels unnatural, like she is somehow cheating the rules of life. She almost always tries to limit herself to one life on each planet. She’s never even found a planet she liked enough to stay for multiple lives, the Mists planet being the closest. Any time she stayed on a planet for more than one life, it had been a choice made by her superiors, much like this time.

She steps out of the shower, taking in her appearance in the mirror. Everything about this body is too soft. She’s much shorter than she was in her last body. She looks small, sweet, innocent, and resolves to buy some dark brown hair dye the next day to harden up her look.

 _The guard has her, is dragging her away. No,_ no _, this can’t be happening. She bites down hard on the guard’s arm, and then jabs him hard in the ribs with her elbow. He leans over and his grip on her loosens, allowing her to wiggle free and kick him down. Her drops his gun and reaches for it, but she reaches it faster, bashing his face in with her foot and grabbing the gun, clubbing him over the head with it. She takes off running down the hall, and another guard rounds the corner, taking her by surprise. Her finger doesn’t even hesitate on the trigger._

The memory floods Carmilla’s brain, causing her to stagger back.

_I’m not so innocent._

Carmilla actually smirks at the memory, at the thought of this sweet body taking down a man twice her size. She leans closer to the mirror, studying her host’s face, running her hands over it. “Who are you?” she whispers.

_Laura._

That takes her by surprise. She wasn’t expecting a real answer. _Laura,_ she thinks. _Pretty name. Where the hell did you come from?_

_Minneapolis._

Carmilla rolls her eyes. _Not exactly what I meant, cutie. Where have you been hiding out all this time that you've managed to survive this long?_

_Wouldn’t you like to know?_

_I would, actually._ Carmilla smirks at her reflection. _That’s sort of why I’m here._

_If you think I’m giving up without a fight, you’re mistaken._

Carmilla grins. She likes this host. Laura is feisty, even more so than Ell was. _I didn’t think you would. Unfortunately, I’m afraid you’re underestimating my strength, Laura. I’ve lived many lives with many hosts on many different planets. You are not new to me._

_What happened with your last host?_

Carmilla backs away from the mirror, stopping that memory in its tracks before it can resurface. She turns around and takes a towel off the rack to dry herself, then goes to dress for bed. _If I’m not getting your memories, then I’m afraid you can’t have any of mine._

* * *

_Laura hurriedly raids the fridge, shoving the least perishable items in her backpack. She’s in luck— this family has a whole bag of oranges, and Laura stuffs them inside of her own bag frantically. Oranges are her favorite, and they don’t spoil quickly or bruise likes apples and pears do. Her bag is almost full, her having already crammed it with food from the pantry, and if she takes anything else, it won’t zip properly, so she sets it down and starts to close it up, the light from the refrigerator the only thing guiding her in the darkness. She thinks back to her first semester at college, the last chapter of her normal life before the invasion hit, and how she would binge herself on cookies and grape soda, often going days without touching a vegetable. That was when malnourishment was a choice, a product of teenage irresponsibility, not something she lived with a constant threat of. Nowadays she lives on granola bars and crackers, and fruit may as well have been gold. So yes, she’s grateful for the oranges._

_Her bag is zipped up and her hand is on the refrigerator door handle when something grabs her from behind, a hand clasps hard over her mouth and a cool blade of a knife presses against her throat. “Make a sound, and you die,” says a woman’s voice, low and gravelly._

_Laura shuts her eyes, breath caught in her throat. She feels the woman's hand move from her mouth and down to the back of her neck, feeling for the scar. She feels the woman's fingertips brush over where the scar should be and then press harder when she can’t find it, and Laura braces herself for death or worse. What she doesn’t expect is for the woman to remove the blade from against her throat and whirl her around by the shoulders, shining a flashlight in her eyes. “Ow! What the—”_

_“Impossible,” the woman whispers, and in a second Laura is being lifted off her feet, and the woman’s lips crash against her own._

_“Hey!” Laura struggles, pushing herself free and falling to the floor. Before she can get up and run, the woman grabs her by the arm and starts shining the flashlight in her own eyes._

_“Wait, look at me, see?” Laura looks up and is met by a pair of icy blue eyes, no trace of silver behind them. “Look, I’m human!”_

_Laura’s mouth falls open, gaping with awe at the woman in front of her, fully taking her in as Laura scrambles to her feet. The woman is tall, a full foot above Laura, and has her flaming red hair tied back in a ponytail. Her face and body are sunburnt and caked with dirt, but she is still far and away the most beautiful thing Laura has ever seen. Hell, she could be growing a second head and she’d still be the most beautiful girl in the world to Laura right now. Laura’s face breaks into an exuberant grin and she leans up on her tiptoes to kiss her, throwing her arms around her neck. The woman leans down and kisses Laura back fiercely._

_The woman eventually pulls away for air, and looks down at Laura, still cupping Laura’s face in her hands. “What’s your name?”_

_“Laura. Laura Hollis.”_

_The woman sticks out her hand to shake. “Hello, Laura Hollis. My name is Danny Lawrence. You’re the first human I’ve spoken to in two years.”_

_Laura chokes out an astonished laugh, shaking Danny’s hand and then moving it to her own waist, and leans up to kiss Danny again. Danny leans down, resting her hands on the small of Laura’s arched back, and Laura’s hands snake up until she feels the scar on the back of Danny’s neck._

Carmilla wakes in a cold sweat, heart beating fast.

_No!_

Carmilla sits up and checks her clock. It reads 9:52 AM. She gets out of bed and walks to the bathroom to wash off her face.

_You weren’t supposed to see that!_

_Too late for that, cupcake,_ Carmilla responds, pressing a cold washcloth to her face. _Who was she?_

_You saw who she was._

_I mean who was she to you?_ She finishes washing her face and starts combing her hair.

Laura is silent for a minute, and then: _I loved her._

_Sure you did. She was the first person you met after being alone for so long. Of course you thought you were in love with her._

_I was in love with her. What the hell would you know about it?_

Carmilla rolls her eyes and exits the bathroom to go change into her clothes for the day. _That’s a story for another time, cupcake._

* * *

Mother stops by shortly after two o'clock, armed with the folder from yesterday. She makes herself at home in Carmilla's new kitchen, taking a seat at a stool and spreading her documents out on the counter.

“So, your first night with a new host,“ Mother says, starting off the conversation. “How was it?“

Carmilla doesn't look up from the papers spread out across the counter. “It was alright. Mostly uneventful. Just adjusting to the new body.“

“And the new mind?“ Mother prompts her. Carmilla looks up. “How is that going?“

Carmilla ignores her question, instead pointing to a blown-up picture of the outside of a hotel. “There. That's the Mountain View Inn, where the host and her travelling partner were staying prior to being discovered.“

“Yes, and I suspect you could figure that out without your host's memories, given the sign in this picture here.“ Mother points to another blown-up image.

“I suppose.“ That was exactly how she had figured it out.

“Carmilla, darling, you know why I'm here. Do you have any new information you can give me about this host?“

Carmilla sighs in resignation. “Her name is Laura Hollis. She was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where she stayed with her father until the first wave of colonization, upon which they fled.“

_What are you doing? Why are you telling her all this?_

“And her mother?“

Carmilla searches Laura's memories. “Died when the host was nine years old. Car accident.“

_Stop it! Don't tell her any more! Please, stop!_

“The host was sixteen when she fled with her father. He was taken three years later. Some time after that, she met up with more of the resistance, a group which included the person seen in the picture with Laura. Their name is LaFontaine.“

“No first name?“

“They identified as genderqueer, never using their given first name.“

“What else can you tell me?“

_Nothing! Tell her nothing!_

Carmilla swallows. “Thats all.“

“That's it? Nothing more? How long after fleeing did the host meet up with others of the resistance?“

Carmilla shrugs. “I'll report to you as soon as I know more.“

Mother nods. “All right. It's natural for a host like this to resist at first. I'm sure you'll have her under control in no time at all. For now, I'll leave these files with you, in hopes that they'll jog your memory.“

“I'll call you as soon as I know more.“

“And I'll be sure to stop by so we can talk in person. Until then, I've arranged for you to resume your position teaching Philosophy at Sacramento State. You start again Monday.“

“Thank you, Mother. I promise I'll call as soon as I have more information to share.“

The door shuts behind Mother, and Carmilla sighs.

_What was that?_

Carmilla smiles sadly. _Just doing my job, sweetheart._

_Your job is trying to find the rest of the human race so you can wipe us out! Your job is helping to kill my friends!_

_We're not killing anyone. If anything, we're saving this planet from the damage you lackwits have done to it._ It's a line not even Carmilla fully believes anymore, an excuse parroted back from her mother and every other Seeker trying to convince themselves that they serve a noble cause, but Laura doesn't need to know that she thinks that.

_Call it what you want. This is murder._

Carmilla squeezes her eyes shut, trying to block out Laura's voice, put up a wall. Laura is right. Ell was right. But letting Laura know about her own doubts won't do Carmilla any good.

_You didn't tell her about Danny._

Carmilla hesitates before responding. _No. I didn't._

_Why not?_

Carmilla's throat feels suddenly, unusually dry, and she get's up to pour herself a glass of water. I _know what it's like to love someone and be able to hurt them._

* * *

_There's a knife in Carmilla's hand, pressed against Will's throat. Only it is not Carmilla's hand and she's no longer the one controlling it._

_She should've known better than to let her love make her stupid, make her weak._

Ell, _Carmilla pleads desperately, fighting to get out and scream the words herself,_ Ell, don't do this. All you're going to do is get yourself caught.

_“What the hell is wrong with you, Carmilla? What are you trying to do?“_

_“Say one more word, try to scream for help, and you die,“ Ell sneers._

Ell, listen to me. Put the knife down. Let him go and make him promise not to say anything. They'll put me in another body and they'll kill you. Please, believe me. If you go any further with this, it ends you.

 _Ell falters for a second, loosening her grip._ I have a better way of keeping him quiet. _She presses the knife to Will's throat again._

_¨Ell, no!“ Carmilla screams, and this time her cry is able to be heard outside of her own mind. The temporary loss of control causes Ell to drop the knife, sending it clattering to the floor, and Will grabs her and pins her down to the floor, arms behind her back._

_¨Help! I need help, somebody!“ Will yells, and in less than a minute, people in white lab coats come rushing in to take in the situation. Ell struggles against Will's grip until she is sprayed by a silver canister labelled Peace._

_The last thing Carmilla sees before she loses consciousness is Mother's shoes, walking toward her as she lies helplessly, trapped in the body pinned down to the white floor._

Carmilla's eyes snap open and she lets out a small gasp. Her alarm clock is flashing 4:32 AM at her, and she closes her eyes again, trying to get back to sleep.

_What was that?_

Carmilla sighs. So much for sleep. _You gave me a memory. I supposed it was my turn._

_I didn't give you that memory on purpose._

_I realize that, cupcake. Learn to take a joke. Believe me, I had no intention for you to see that._

_Ell? That was your last host?_ Laura asks.

_Yes._

_And you loved her?_

_Yes. I did._

_But then she took control? Humans can do that?_

Carmilla smirks. _Don't get any ideas cutie. But yeah, a human host can do that if they fight hard enough._ She hesitates, shaking her head. _But don't waste your time. That isn't what happened with Ell._

_Then what did happen?_

A beat. _I let her take control. And then I couldn't get it back. And she fucked things up for the both of us._


	2. Bond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The woman grins as she catches Carmilla’s eyes, and Carmilla’s face lights up as she holds up a finger to indicate to the woman to wait. “Be sure to have read up to chapter 14 by Wednesday. We’ll be going over it in class, and our discussion will count as a test grade.” Students begin filing out of the room, and Carmilla goes to greet the woman in the doorway with an embrace and a gleeful declaration of “Mattie! When did you get into town?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. This is later than I intended it to be. I got hit by a pretty big wave of depression mid-summer and lost a lot of motivation to write anything, so that's why this chapter is both long overdue and not...actually very long. 
> 
> Also, you may have noticed I upped the story rating to M, and that's for a reason. No explicit stuff in this chapter, but there will most likely be some later on.

_Danny lives in an old stolen camper by herself, and welcomes Laura to spend the night. Laura has no car, and no permanent place of her own, so she accepts. It’s cramped for two, so Danny insists that Laura take the bed at the back of the camper while she spends the night on the couch that’s entirely too small for all six feet and two inches of her. She insists the same the next night, and the next night, until Laura is finally able to convince Danny to at least alternate nights with her so that Danny doesn’t have to spend every night for as long as Laura stays with her squnched on the couch of her own camper._

_And as it turns out, Laura stays with her for a while. What is meant to be a night turns into a week, and one week turns into two, and Laura starts forgetting any reason she has to leave. Danny is more than welcoming and even the tiny camper begins to feel more cozy than cramped. And it’s not like Laura doesn’t enjoy the companionship. It’s been so long since she’s talked to another person, let alone been in such close proximity with them, and she finds her mind wandering back to the kiss on that first night more and more often. Danny hasn’t kissed her again since, nor has she even touched Laura in any way that implies more than friendly acquaintanceship, and Laura has no reason to believe that that first kiss was the result of anything more than simple elation at finding another human. Still, she can’t help but hope._

_One night, a few weeks later, Laura decides to carefully broach the subject. Danny is curled up on the couch and Laura sits up on the bed and whispers, “You haven’t kissed me since that first night.”_

_In the dark, Laura sees Danny’s figure shift to look at her. “You haven’t kissed me either.” She has a point there. Laura stays silent, breath caught in her throat, until Danny speaks again. “Look, Laura, I understand. You don’t have to explain yourself.”_

_“Explain myself?” Laura asks, caught off guard._

_“When you’ve been on your own for so long… it makes sense that, in the moment, you’d do things you wouldn’t normally do. I get it. I don’t expect anything of you.”_

_“Danny…” Laura looks down and shakes her head. “That’s not what… that isn’t what I’m worried about.” She gets up and kneels by Danny, who is lying on the couch partially propped up on her elbow. “I can’t stop thinking about kissing you. This whole time I’ve been hoping…” Laura finds herself trailing off, waiting with baited breath until Danny’s lips meet hers. When she pulls away, Laura pulls herself up on the couch and swings her knee over Danny’s legs so that she’s straddling her, and leans forward so that her lips collide with Danny’s lips as Laura cups Danny’s face in her hands._

_“Laura,” Danny whispers as Laura pulls away for a moment, resting her forehead against Danny’s, “Are you sure about this?” she asks. Her eyes hold a mixture of fear and hope, the desperate gleam of someone who has been lonely for far too long._

_Laura nods. “I’m sure.”_

_Danny’s hands cup Laura’s behind and lift her up. Laura wraps her legs around Danny’s waist as she carries her to the bed. Once Danny is seated on the bed, Laura wriggles out of her t-shirt, tossing it on the floor behind her, and she tugs on the end of Danny’s shirt before Danny pulls back. “Wait.”_

_“Danny,” Laura says insistently, “I want this. I really, really do.”_

_“I know, I— we just… we barely know each other, Laura.” Danny looks away._

_“Oh.” Laura studies Danny. Her body language is closed off, and she won’t meet Laura’s eyes. “Are you— you’re not ready, are you?”_

_Danny sighs, and when she looks back up, her face is apologetic. “I like you. Please believe me when I say that I really, really like you. I just— I’m sorry. It’s been so long since anyone—”_

_“Hey,” Laura says softly, moving her weight off of Danny and sitting down beside her on the bed. “It’s okay. You have nothing to apologize for. Maybe, for tonight, we can just… talk? Get to know a little more about each other.”_

_Danny looks up and smiles. “Okay. I’d like that.”_

Carmilla wakes to the sound of her alarm and rolls over, feeling around for her phone on her bedside table to silence it. Once she’s stopped the beeping, she stretches out, sitting up and letting her feet touch the floor as she gets out of bed and heads to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee.

_Do you really have to drink this stuff?_ Laura whines, as she’s done every morning for the past few months, when Carmilla pours herself a cup of coffee and brings it to her lips. _You’re giving us a caffeine addiction._

_I’m giving_ myself _a caffeine addiction, cupcake._

_It’s still my body. Just because you’ve moved into brain without asking doesn’t make it yours._

Carmilla rolls her eyes, putting her cup down. They’ve had this conversation enough times at this point that she knows not to fight Laura on this. She certainly isn’t wrong. And over the last four months, Laura has gone from hostile prisoner in her own mind, to occasional nuisance, to finally, reluctant acquaintance. The two of them may be just making the best out of a bad situation. Or maybe Laura has acquired what the people on her planet call Stockholm Syndrome, with Carmilla falling victim to the term’s counterpart, Lima Syndrome. It may not be the most healthy foundation for a friendship, but they are working with what they have. _Tell you what, you stop giving me dreams about Tall, Ginger, and Handsome, I’ll consider laying off the coffee, deal?_

If Laura had the ability to scoff, she would have. _You say that like I signed up to have my brain turned into a drilling ground for parasites mining my memories._

_Fair enough._

* * *

Carmilla is almost finished with her lecture when she trails off, spotting a young woman standing in the doorway. The woman grins as she catches Carmilla’s eyes, and Carmilla’s face lights up as she holds up a finger to indicate to the woman to wait. “Be sure to have read up to chapter 14 by Wednesday. We’ll be going over it in class, and our discussion will count as a test grade.” Students begin filing out of the room, and Carmilla goes to greet the woman in the doorway with an embrace and a gleeful declaration of “Mattie! When did you get into town?”

_Who the hell is she?_ Carmilla tunes Laura out.

“Just last night. I wanted to surprise you. And don’t you ‘Mattie’ me you little monster. Mother told me all about what you tried to do to poor William right before they took you out of that old body.”

Carmilla rolls her eyes. “You know I wasn’t in control over that.”

“Which only makes me all the more disappointed in you. I know you’ve always been a sap, but I would’ve liked to think you were smarter than that.”

Something about Mattie’s phrasing makes Carmilla’s stomach flip. Mattie talks like she knows something she’s not supposed to. She’s always known Carmilla better than anyone, better than mother even, and if anyone could see through Carmilla’s motives, it was Mattie. The ill-thinking part of Carmilla, her Id, as she’d since learned humans called it, wants to ask Mattie what she means by that, wants to know immediately how much Mattie knows. But the rational part of her knows that inquiring any further would show vulnerability, and increase Mattie’s suspicions if she didn’t already know what Carmilla fears she knows.

“But nevermind that darling— you and I need to catch up!” Mattie takes Carmilla’s hands in her own. “I do regret not being able to visit you sooner since I heard they’d put you in a new vessel, but you know how busy I get. It’s a strange world, and a large one at that. It’d be foolish not to experience as much of it as possible.”

“So what does bring you into town?” Carmilla asks. “I’m sure you didn't come here just for me.”

“Mother called me here—“

Carmilla sighs, taking her hands out of Mattie’s and crossing her arms. “Of course she did.”

“Oh, don’t pout now, you know I wanted to see you too. It just so happened that Mother ordering me here provided the perfect opportunity. Speaking of which— ” Mattie checks the elegant gold watch on her wrist— “I have a lunch date with Mother that I absolutely cannot be late to. But let’s meet up tonight, shall we? Paint the town red, like we did your first month on Earth, our trip to—”

”—Saigon?” Carmilla can’t hold back her smile, and finally nods, embracing Mattie again.

“Fabulous. See you tonight Carm!” And just like that Mattie disappears out the doors.

_Carm?_ Carmilla grimaces at Laura’s thoughts interrupting her own. _Who was she?_

_Mattie’s like a sister_ , Carmilla replies, not sure why she feels the need to defend their relationship to Laura, and not willing to analyze it. _This is the third planet we’ve been on together at the same time. She was there when I was first born on the Origin, and we met again on the Mists planet._

_She’s another one of your Mother’s henchmen?_

_She was the one who first introduced me to Mother._

Laura is silent for a moment until— _I don’t like her._

Carmilla scoffs. _You don’t have to like her. I do, and I’m the one going out with her tonight._

* * *

As soon as Carmilla hears the doorbell ring, she grabs her bag and coat and goes to get it. Mattie is waiting there, dressed in a flashy black coat and a firetruck red dress. “You look fabulous, as always,” Carmilla tells her.

“As do you, Carm,” Mattie says with a grin. Carmilla is dressed in a black dress and leather, high-heeled boots. Heels weren't a fashion Carmilla typically enjoyed while in Ell's body, but had had a few inches on Laura. “Although, I have to say, your new host is a quite, uh—”

“Puny?”

Mattie laughs. “Unintimidating is the word I was going to use. And unfortunately, no amount of black leather and punk rock t-shirts is changing that.”

Carmilla rolls her eyes. “Mother’s doing, not mine.”

“Perhaps she thought that such a pint-sized host would nip that rebellious nature of yours in the bud,” Mattie jokes. “Now, come on, the cab is waiting.”

* * *

There’s a bubbly pop song playing in the background and Carmilla is almost at the bottom of her third fruity drink of the night. Mattie is finishing recounting some story from her travels in the past months and Carmilla is laughing so hard that tears stream down her face. She’s probably more drunk than she should be after only a few drinks with such low alcohol content, but this body hasn’t built up much of a tolerance to the stuff. Laura didn’t have her first drink until she was 19, just before the first wave of colonization, and rarely ever drank after she went on the run. Carmilla hasn’t exactly done so much either in her four months in this body. Mattie was her primary drinking buddy when she was using Ell as a host, and Carmilla doesn’t typically enjoy drinking alone. It also doesn’t help that Laura is so small. **  
**

Carmilla leans forward, resting a hand on Mattie’s knee. “I’ve missed this. I’ve missed _you_.”

Mattie smiles. “I have too. It was much longer for me you know. You got to spend that whole year sleeping in a cryotank. For you, it’s only been a few months.”

“Still too long.”

“Well,” Mattie begins with a smirk, “it wouldn’t have been nearly as long had you not gotten so sentimental.”

“And what do you mean by that?” Carmilla asks, leaning back in her seat and picking up her drink to finish it off.

“You know exactly what I mean. I know you, Carm. And really? Falling in love with your host?”

She nearly chokes on her drink, and, sputtering, coughs out a “ _What?!_ ”

“Oh, don’t play dumb. I know that you’re not so weak-willed as to be taken over by one stubborn little human. If you’d wanted that girl to shut up, you could have easily shut her out within a month, two months tops. Instead, tender thing you are, you let her take the wheel and she exposed you. When are you going to learn that these things only cause more trouble for you in the end?”

It’s a moment before Carmilla realizes that Mattie is talking about Ell.

_Why would you think she was talking about me?_ Laura asks, startling Carmilla. She’s been quiet for most of the night.

Unsure of how to reply, Carmilla only swallows the lump in her throat and averts Mattie’s gaze, eyes scanning the room, searching for anything else to focus on.

When she finally looks back to Mattie, there’s a smirk playing on her lips. “And, you know, Mother isn’t as ignorant as you think she is.”

Carmilla’s breath catches in her throat for just a moment and she can feel her pulse speed up, but her face remains stoic. “Oh, really?” she asks, feigning indifference. She keeps her voice even and her breathing steady in an attempt not to give away how much that sentence affects her. But Mattie knows her better than anyone.

“Oh yes, she’s quite concerned for you. She worries you’re pitying their kind. Letting them play games with your head.”

“And do you think that?”

“ _I_ think,” Mattie says before taking a long sip of her drink, “that Mother made a mistake bringing you to a planet where the hosts feel so strongly. You were always the emotional one Carmilla. Sure, you could put up your callous and indifferent facade, but it never once fooled me. I knew what would eventually happen if Mother had them put you in a host that was capable of feeling such strong emotions.”

Carmilla clenches her jaw. “What is your point, Mattie?”

“My point is that I was right. What happened with your last host proved it, and yet she still went and put you in another host. Only this time it’s worse because she has a plan for this one. She wants information from this one. She’s forcing you to choose between your duty to your own species and whatever feelings, loyalty or otherwise, you may have toward this host and her species. Look,“ Mattie says, setting her glass down, “I don’t know exactly what your endgame here is, if you even have one. Lord knows you were never one for planning things out. _My point_ is that you’re running out of time. Assuming you even have a plan, it won’t be long before Mother figures it out and puts a stop to it before you can even make your first move.“

Laura is able to decipher the significance behind Mattie’s words before Carmilla is. _We need to get the hell out of dodge. And we need to do it fast._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to follow me on tumblr! mattiebelmondes is where I post all my fic, but you can also follow me on my main, crystalesbian

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my main blog @wonderfulgiantsinthesky on tumblr or my sideblog @ravenbaaes for story updates!


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